· Grownups lie.
· If you eat your crusts your hair doesn’t grow curly
· Swimming after eating grapes doesn’t give you a stomach ache
· If you swallow a watermelon seed, it won’t sprout in your stomach, or if it does, you will never know
· Dirty ears don’t grow potatoes
· Don’t consume poison (I tried this as a toddler, and it ended up in stomach pumping. Possibly accounts for many things…)
· If you go to an outside toilet at night, and your siblings say they will wait for you, they never do. Better to go to the loo before they do and stand some chance of not being left too far behind.
· Never trust your brother not to dunk you under the water
· In fact, if anyone says, “trust me”, it is probably wiser not too.
(Now, can you see why I was an anxious child? So many rules to live by!)
· If someone tells you “this won’t hurt”, it probably will.
· If a parent tells you to “come out from under there, or I will punish you”, they are going to punish you anyway.
· The starving in African probably don’t want to eat broccoli either.
· Marriage proposals at any time in your early childhood years are not binding.
· It is possible to contract Scarlet Fever and not die a lingering death as did Beth in “Little Women”. (At the age of 11, I read the book and three weeks later I was diagnosed with Scarlet Fever. I compiled my will. Best friend was to receive the Barbie collection – she is still down to receive the Barbie collection.)
· If you are the baby of the family, you are going to get stuffed into a lot of things – hand me downs, boxes, empty clothes hampers, cupboards.
· If you want to round up dairy cattle, call, “bail up!”, but if you are calling pigs, you yell “sueeee!”
· To feed a baby bird fallen from the nest, mix the seed with honey to spoon into their mouths.
· Birthdays are not public holidays.
· Don’t pick your mother’s flowers the day before her garden is to be judged in the local garden competition.
· There is no place like home.
· It is possible to love your siblings, even like them at times!
· When someone yells, RUN! Just run, don’t stop and look for the reason.
· The anticipation of Christmas is often better than the actual Christmas Day.
· Ditto for birthday parties.
· Gaining a library card can be a life defining moment (It gave me a profession and lifelong joy)
· Grandmothers cook the best desserts and bake the best cakes.