teaching : damned if you do and dammed if you don’t

Fickle FInger of FateSitting before the mirror at the hair salon yesterday, the face looking back at me was tired. Exhausted. Its been a busy six months; Petite Fille and her parents living with us and I am trying to create and innovate at work more. It all means that I fall asleep most nights before I really want to, but I am too exhausted to continue.

This week I am trying to get a Makerspace off the ground. Not a token space with colouring in and cardboard, but a makerspace with technology. It feels like I am pushing a boulder up a mountain, as I fear our admin doesn’t have a mindset for technological innovation, and on the odd occasions they do, they centre it towards the males. As a woman, I have a double trail to blaze.

The guys aren’t really interested in taking up STEM, and I am, but I am older and a female, and so that almost makes me invisible to administration. Being knowledgeable and passionate is not always enough. They also like to build silos of responsibility and I am an outlier who cuts across supposed boundaries. However, at the same time, they are quick to criticise if you do nothing. Damned if you do and dammed if you don’t . Or just damned!

For the sake of what I believe in, and for the sake of my students I am willing to be damned, but it is all so exhausting.

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3 thoughts on “teaching : damned if you do and dammed if you don’t

  1. I can feel the exhaustion in your words. Kudos to you for sticking to what you want despite all that’s against you.
    Sending some strength your way…

    Like

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