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Mind, body and spirit are out of kilter this past week or two. The false student allegation, though not believed by administration has sent me reeling.

There is such a process of interviews and meetings when these types of conflicts happen that it takes on a life of its own, parallel and yet utterly intertwined with the usual day to day processes of living.

I have had a meeting with Principal and a Deputy, plus my legal support. All agree that there are so many holes in the girls allegations, and more than a slight whiff of collusion that any intelligent person can see that their allegations are false. However, procedures must be followed and hence the human cost.

At the same time I have applied for a job in another school. Not actually prompted by what has happened, except for the fact that if Admin don’t put a lid on this type of student behaviour then there will be open season on teachers at the school. No, the school where I applied for a position is just a nine minute drive from my garage, through The Village, to the school’s staff car park. 9 minutes versus 40 minutes. Time saver, car saver, tiredness saver – and less chance of a car accident, as no highway driving, especially when tired. Feeling very mixed emotions, but it is just an application, that does not mean a job offer.

Mr FD decided to take me out for a sightseeing trip yesterday, as we have been doing the last few weeks, but I found no joy in it. Often, and for no particular reason, I felt almost as if I wasn’t in my own body, and very close to tears. It was a short trip, no stop for coffee.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am causing myself to have these thoughts and emotions. Am I doing it to myself? Then again, and I can’t put this into accurate words, even if I am doing it to myself, is that not a symptom of something? I am worrying me.

Perhaps, the summer vacation, just four weeks away, will give me a break. A few weeks in Perth, welcoming our new Grandbaby, Peppercorn, hopefully will be just the tonic I need to get my Flamingo Dancer mojo back into service. Ā Peppercorn may arrive earlier than expected as Daughter2, now 33 weeks, was diagnosed with high blood pressure and has had to cease work immediately, after planning to work another three weeks. I wish I wasn’t so far from her, especially as her husband is a FIFO (fly in, fly out) mining engineer and not there for four nights a week, during which time she is without any real support. I just told her to phone the ambulance if anything concerns her and not to worry about feeling silly if it turns out to be something inconsequential. Lives matter more. Not making me feel any better though.

So sorry, if I have rained on any parades today. It’s Monday and I suspect few parades today anyway. Just letting you know that I wandering a little aimlessly right now. Hang with me, please.

 

Thank you.

 

 

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18 thoughts on “

  1. I went through a testy she said-she said situation at work many years ago. Despite the fact that I emerged spotless (which I didn’t know if I would do at the time), it took it’s toll. I was so irritable at home that my husband suggested we get another cat. We already had 3 but he was willing to do anything to get me back to where I was. Only time resolved the issue which remained a sore spot for many years. The offending parties are long gone from the company (terminated for other reasons) but while I could shout “karma!” it didn’t make me feel better. My sympathies. Hope you get a look see at the new job. Close by is a lot better.

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  2. I can relate to the feeling of aimlessness. It’s tough to deal with accusations against your character, which seems to happen too frequently in our world these days. Young people need to have some of their power removed, and a lot of discipline in their lives would be good too.

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  3. I think your feelings are completely understandable. Everyone says they believe you … but it just goes on and on. And – as you intimated – makes one wonder about the next time. I’ve kind of been there and (as was said above) even when all the offending parties – including my recently retired boss – the memory is still there.

    As for another job in another place that is closer to your home … you’d be silly not to pursue something like that. While there are many adjectives I may use to describe you, silly is not one of them.

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  4. What hurts is that even if they do totally believe you, the whole sorry process has to roll on. It’s incredibly stressful and awful, and if you are doing anything other than howling you are a pillar of strength and a marvel. I hope the new place comes through, because this kind of thing just makes the whole place feel strange and uncomfortable. Treat yourself gently, and surround yourself with the people who care for you.

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  5. Having survived a similar incident at the college where I used to work, I can tell you that someday this will look like just a smashed bug on the windscreen of your car, irritating and icky-looking but a mere piffle compared to the grand things you will enjoy in the future. I do agree with lauowolf in that these sort of events can defile one’s attitude towards one’s entire career, not to mention just the act of coming to work every morning. You may be best off working at a new venue, closer to hearth and home. You not only have a clean start, but you can avoid a long commute, which is draining, physically and psychically. (I really hope someday Google cars will become affordable and mass produced so I don’t have to drive anymore. Getting up at 5 a.m. just to beat the traffic to my school 12 miles away is hard enough without dealing with tailgaters, jerks who weave through traffic at 70 mph and 18-wheelers blocking one’s attempt to merge onto the freeway.)

    You will emerge from this victorious. Courage!

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  6. FD, Reading your blog for some time and being an educator, I know that you work at doing a good job with your students. It IS disheartening to have them turn on you, even as we all know the risks of not being able to please all the people all the time. Do take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do to get your confidence back! You have fun things ahead in welcoming Peppercorn; perhaps you could check in with your physician just to let him know how stressful this has all been. I once had an administrator that brought so much stress to the staff that we all had some type of physical response. Mine was exploding veins in my eyeballs! None of us had any idea of the impact that stress can have on a body. Take care of yourself and you’ll be back to old self in a bit.
    All the best,
    Kathy

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  7. It is natural to feel what you feel, given what happened. Don’t stop it. Just let go and feel.
    Hugs to you. Hope this thing blows over. And hope you get the job nearer home as well. Saves a lot of trouble and time.

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