Can you imagine what the world would be like graced by ten copies of me – and the original me, making a total of eleven Flamingo Dancers. upon this earth? I think the original Flamingo Dancer might just need a cup of tea to handle all the excitement, too!
Do I want them to even a few scores, or to go forth and enjoy? The temptation is to send a couple forth with sticks to beat the brains out of a few people who could do with a good sticking (no one ever expects revenge by a lady). That’s not in the spirit of my New Year though, so I guess to answer my own query, I will turn my 10 MEs to fun and good times.
FD1. She will go to cooking school and learn to do all those things that professional chefs appear to do so effortlessly. She will cook for all family occasions, and all our meals will be healthy, gourmet delights.
FD2. Is going to go back to university, to study all the courses I would like to study just for the sake of knowing – psychology, or art, perhaps. Not maths though, never maths.
FD3. She will be the writer. A great book, an enduring classic no less, will be the fruits of her keyboard. Of course when it hits the best seller list, I will send her back to the cupboard and take over the book signings. Better still, she can start work on book 2.
FD4. Poor workhorse, she goes to work, she lives the ordinary life that keeps the food on the table and the roof over our heads.
FD5. She is going to sewing class to learn to sew, something I never really had interest in, but wish my mother had encouraged when I was younger. Mum was one of those mothers who was always conceded that we would sew our fingers together or worse still, break her sewing machine. She sewed, and I am not sure she wanted us to challenge her skills so major lack of encouragement meant no interest on my part. So FD5 is going to make up for past stupidity. FD5 will create haute couture outfits that hide the lumpy or saggy bits while accenting the glorious bits (I have a great butt, and it should be appreciated)
FD6 is going to be the brave one. She is going to go to some far country and help women get an education. Or to help nurse sick children or feed the starving. She will earn forgiveness for all my evilosity.
FD7. She might, I think, run for politics and sort this country out. Being the Flamingo Dancer, no doubt she would soon be Prime Minister and later leader of the UN, and eventually, the world would recognise her greatness, and elect her Queen of the World for life. As per FD3, this is when the original FD, me, myself and I, will take the stage. FD7 can then go home and clean the windows.
FD8. FD8 is to be a Cuddle Mum, one of those lovely women who volunteer in hospitals to nurse babies when their parents can’t be there, or read stories to sick children in hospital. This is something I have always thought I would like to do, but now that I live in the country is probably less of a possibility, but then again, who knows what life will bring.
FD9. Oh the hell with it, FD9 is going to woman the Stick List, and beat all those people who have irritated me throughout my life. Coworkers who were bitches, or just annoying; employers who were pigs, and generally anyone who has irritated me to any degree throughout my life. Beat hard and beat them often. Revenge is too sweet not to take the opportunity.
FD.10. She is going to learn how to give me a really good massage. No more paying for massages, or having to leave my home to obtain one. She will soothe my aches and pains on a daily basis, bless her little FD replication!
And Me, me? I will sleep, and eat, read and create. I will travel, watch the birds in my garden, and do whatever I damn well please.
Where do I sign up for delivery?