Things I learned from being a kid

kid 3

·         Grownups lie.

·         If you eat your crusts your hair doesn’t grow curly

·         Swimming after eating grapes doesn’t give you a stomach ache

·         If you swallow a watermelon seed, it won’t sprout in your stomach, or if it does, you will never know

·         Dirty ears don’t grow potatoes

·         Don’t consume poison (I tried this as a toddler, and it ended up in stomach pumping. Possibly accounts for many things…)

·         If you go to an outside toilet at night, and your siblings say they will wait for you, they never do.  Better to go to the loo before they do and stand some chance of not being left too far behind.

·         Never trust your brother not to dunk you under the water

·         In fact, if anyone says, “trust me”, it is probably wiser not too.

 

(Now, can you see why I was an anxious child? So many rules to live by!)

kid 2

 

·         If someone tells you “this won’t hurt”, it probably will.

·         If a parent tells you to “come out from under there, or I will punish you”, they are going to punish you anyway.

·         The starving in African probably don’t want to eat broccoli either.

·         Marriage proposals at any time in your early childhood years are not binding.

·         It is possible to contract Scarlet Fever and not die a lingering death as did Beth in “Little Women”.  (At the age of 11, I read the book and three weeks later I was diagnosed with Scarlet Fever. I compiled my will. Best friend was to receive the Barbie collection – she is still down to receive the Barbie collection.)

·         If you are the baby of the family, you are going to get stuffed into a lot of things – hand me downs, boxes, empty clothes hampers, cupboards.

·         If you want to round up dairy cattle, call, “bail up!”, but if you are calling pigs, you yell “sueeee!”

·         To feed a baby bird fallen from the nest, mix the seed with honey to spoon into their mouths.

·         Birthdays are not public holidays.

·         Don’t pick your mother’s flowers the day before her garden is to be judged in the local garden competition.

 

·         There is no place like home.

·         It is possible to love your siblings, even like them at times!

·         When someone yells, RUN! Just run, don’t stop and look for the reason.

·         The anticipation of Christmas is often better than the actual Christmas Day.

·         Ditto for birthday parties.

·         Gaining a library card can be a life defining moment (It gave me a profession and lifelong joy)

·         Grandmothers cook the best desserts and bake the best cakes.

kid 1

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5 thoughts on “Things I learned from being a kid

  1. After reading “Little Women” I developed a morbid desire to lie in bed and stare out the window, awaiting death. I was a bit of diva when I was a child. My mother however cured me quickly by yanking the covers off and announcing I would miss my favorite TV show if I didn’t get out of bed. I never did get scarlet fever, but a male cousin did when he was in high school. He refused to go to the doctor’s to seek treatment, and as a result developed rheumatic fever, which damaged his heart. He lived into his 60s, which defied the doctor’s prediction he wouldn’t live past 50. Still, it was a shock when I found out he had suddenly dropped dead of heart failure during a trip to the beach. Thinking about it now, I acknowledge there are worse ways to die: but really, someone needs to write a footnote after Beth’s death scene, saying “Modern medicine and antibiotics have ensured you will not die of scarlet fever.”

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  2. One of my proudest days was when I was finally allowed to keep my library card in my own wallet!

    And I know Beth had scarlet fever as a child, but they never really specify what she died of. I guess the implication was that it was related to her childhood illness, but I feel like it was something else, and that maybe the fever had weakened her so that she couldn’t fight it off.

    Although the symptoms could even be something like cancer that has nothing to do with scarlet fever and would have killed her anyway, even if she hadn’t been ill as a child.

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  3. i learned not to peak at xmas presents. did it once… hating having to fake surprise later. never ever peaked again.

    at a very young age, my parent found me on top of the fridge, in the super high cabinet, munching away on what I now think were sleeping pills (I remember them being blue). i must not have had many because there was not trip to ER.

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