Do you ever feel ashamed of your own hypocrisy?
This week we farewelled The Big Boss, who is following his own ambitions to greener pastures. After his final term with us there are few who will really miss him, and more than a few who may have wanted to threw stones instead of word bouquets today, but we all maintained our pretence and pretended that we were utterly devastated that he was no longer our GOD.
Yep, I was a big fat hypocrite. My one moment of glory was writing my farewell on his card. I wrote “goodbye” and no more. We heard all week of his humility, his simplicity and his fairness, when in truth he created a “boys club”, treated colleagues with great harshness and a cold heart, and was arrogant and ambitious to the point that he would no doubt have sacrificed all for his own ends. This week we witnessed blatant discrimination against someone due to their age. And yet he had “strong religious principles”, oh yeah.
Yes, he was a hypocrite, but then so am I for staying quiet, and while I might tell myself that my lack of action was a necessary survival tactic, and hey he is gone now anyway, I still feel empty inside. Hollow. Shallow.
The wine flowed at lunch and many of us toasted his leaving. I tried to dull the pain of hypocrisy with my glass.