…where have you been? I’ve been to Australia offending their Flamingo Dancer

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There has been a bit of a rumble in the kingdom these past couple of days. An element of interference in my universe. A territorial dispute. The “other” royals, those foreign interlopers, William and Kate, and their cutesy wutsey baby boy, George have been round and about the place. They have the temerity to venture within mere miles of Moi this weekend too!

I have chosen to take the moral high ground and have issued no invitations to them.

In fact, I have decided the best course of action, or non action might be more accurate, is to ignore them totally. Well, except for the time I am watching the news and they happen to appear before my eyes, numerous times a day. I am after a a tolerant woman, and they are young and inexperienced. One must understand that they do not know what they are doing, straying within my lands.

The days are pleasant, the sun is shining, the parrots are tweeting, tweet tweet, so what better that a morning in the garden? The basil was taking over the orchard and blocking the bath of the sprinklers and so that was cut back. Then, onto the daisies that line the stairs to the orchard terrace.

This is an area where caution is required. It is a dry stone wall and a favourite place to sun and hide for snakes, so it is with some caution that I venture thus. I always wear knee high wellingtons when I garden as a form of self protection, and have gloves as well, but where there is a will there is a way for woman and reptile. I wonder if it is a female snake? There must be one somewhere hence the spawn. Anyway, that is not my subject too. What is my subject?

Oh yes, gardening. If anyone is wondering what happened to the sweet potato I planted so earnestly some months ago, well nothing happened.  They popped up and started to grow and then they must have become a tasty meal for possum or rat, as GOF predicted. The spot remains empty.The End.

I have plans to plant nasturtium to attract bees for the fruit trees, but I am not expecting my dining companion not to return to make it difficult. The orchard garden is on the edge of our property and backs onto open bushland, home to everything and anything.

Gardening completed on a perfect autumn day, I retired inside to a lovely cup of tea, a yorkshire blend for the gardening goddess, only to be offended anew by William and Kate, sans George, meeting the cheering peoples of New South Wales’ Blue Mountains. There is only so much a goddess can tolerate, and so I called for my stick list.

Home alone though, so no minion came forth. Too comfy after my morning’s efforts to rise, I gave W&K a momentary pardon. Just this once, mind you. Just once.


Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?
I’ve been to London to look at the Queen.
Pussy cat, pussy cat, what did you do there?
I frightened a little mouse, under the chair.


9 thoughts on “…where have you been? I’ve been to Australia offending their Flamingo Dancer

  1. Bit rude of them not to send a footman or such to seek an audience with you. I know he’s second in line but a request to share tiffin would have been nice (as long as he brought cakes of course). Some people do get above themselves. His Grandma would have just knocked on with a tin of jam pennies.


  2. Sorry about your sweet potatoes. As we no longer grow acres of them, this year I’m thinking about growing some in really big pots with chicken wire over the top to keep out vermin….the runners can grow out through the mesh.


  3. Snakes! I applaud your courage: if I had a portion of garden that was inhabited by snakes, I’d probably have it buried under concrete rather than venture out to tend it. Don’t your neighborhood kookaburras eat the snakes?

    I get fed up with the media fawning all over W&K (Wate? Killiam?). If they had actually accomplished something, I might begrudge them their three minutes on the daily television news, but even in the supposedly democratic United States, people fall over themselves at the sight of the Royals—what dress and hat she wore, what sports event he attended, what they had for tea. There was even some clamor over George’s outfits and where his mother bought them. (I think they’re stodgy, like they were dressing a miniature Winston Churchill.) May your shores be rid of them soon!


    • Fat little kookaburras are spoilt for choice, I think.
      I feel sorry for Kate having to live this life, but she did have a choice, unlike William. I am not a monarchist, I would like Australia to be a republic. Everyone is handing them gifts and I think, do you really think they are going to use or keep that? I congratulate them on their charity work, though I wonder how many charitable dollars are spent on preparing for their visits etc.


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