Ladies who lunch

lunch Jerry Schatzberg 3

“Table for three? Follow me.”

Three on a rectangle table; which seat to choose? Do I sit beside one of my friends, or do I sit on the solo side?

Slide to the table first and let it be someone else’s decision. Do not, DO NOT, analyse why number two sat opposite and not beside you.

“I knew we were coming to lunch so I haven’t eaten all morning. I am so hungry!” she says.

Instand relaxation. Me too. “I’ll have the oil soaked, high fat cream based pasta with extra cheese and thrown in both scollops and chicken; maybe some bacon as well.”

The so hungry one orders, “The salad with lemon dressing.”

So does the third wheel at the table.

“Drinks Ladies?”

The waiter is looking a me. I have to order first off the rank. Last luncheon they all ordered wine. “I’ll have the white wine”.

“I’ll just have water for now.”

So does the third wheel at the table.

“Coffee ladies?”

“Flat white” you say.

They both order cappuccino. At last some common ground; we all drink coffee. YAY.

“Mug or cup?”

He’s looking at me again. Brute, he knows this game too well.

You hesitate, waiting for one of them to make a decision first. They don’t. They all wait for you…

“Mug” you say surrendering to your fate, “Mug for me, thanks.”

“Cup” they both say.

Did that waiter just wink “gotcha!” at me? Damn, sometimes I wish Australian’s tipped, and then I could get my revenge.

“Oh and waiter,” says I,” the dessert menu too, please.” Smile is innocent and sweet. “And another glass of white.”

No one challenges Flamingo Dancer.


13 thoughts on “Ladies who lunch

  1. Ugh, why go out and pay for a restaurant meal if you’re not going to EAT? You might as well step outside and graze on the front lawn, or nibble leaves from the trees.

    Dining out is a treat for me, so I make the most of it. No rabbit food for me! And yes, order dessert and do NOT offer to share with them. And savor it slowly, and make little moans of pleasure as you eat. The skinny ones will die inside!


    • When I dine out I like to a. enjoy myself and the company of the people I am with, and b. eat something I won’t have at home. Also to appreciate the efforts of the chef! I work hard for my money, I am going to enjoy my little joys.


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