in the land between

This wise guy was chilling it out down amongst the trees at the front of our property and took no notice of Mr FD and I as we took a photo of him. I suspect he even puffed up his pose for us a little more!

wise Owl

wise Owl

We lunched in the city at a restaurant and I had an odd little chardonnay with my wurst salad. Wurst salad is the modern equivalent  of the ploughman’s lunch – cheese, cold meats, pickle and radish. It was delicious though perhaps a little less salad dressing would have made it perfect. I just kept hoping the it was an olive oil dressing and therefore good for my arteries! wurst salad In the afternoon, we visited with BIL. No hospital picnics this time.

He is conscious, and he knew us, but his voice is almost inaudible and he starts a sentence and both volume and subject just trail away. Despite his illness and broken hip he has developed a Houdini act of crawling over the side of the bed rails between the rails and the end of the bed and has taken a couple of tumbles, including the one I mentioned last week. So, they have him in a bed that apparently costs about $40,000AUS that has an alarm that will sound at the nurses’ station if he sits up (his room is across from the nurses’ station) giving them time to run to stop him. It is quite the technical bed, with a mattress that puffs up in areas to relive pressure areas, and extends at the foot end as he slips down the bed (he is only 5ft 6 in so there is some room to go!) The calcium is leaking from his bones and this is part of the reason for the confusion. Eventually he will get drowsy and fall into a coma. He is also on morphine which will have its own impact. His kidneys are still working but his bowels and bladder weren’t doing their bit today.

It is so odd to ponder the gap that is about to open in our family. It is different when it is an aged parent, but when it is a family member of the “younger” peer generation it is almost surreal. We are walking in the land between life and death. We all have to face our cycle of life at some time, can anything ever prepare us for it though?

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12 thoughts on “in the land between

  1. Nice post! I don’t think there is a way to prepare ourselves for facing the loss of someone we love. It is painful but perhaps we just learn gradually that death is a part of our lives that we cannot avoid. Thinking of you and your family at this time.

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  2. I cannot click “like” for this one, but I know how you feel and what you’re going through, so I can say I sympathize. Husband is not quite as far along as your BIL, but I see much of the same kind of thing with him, that progression of weakness. Stay tough and find bright spots.

    >

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    • BIl has had such dignity and been such a gentleman through the whole process that he has eased his leaving in some ways, but made it all the harder in others. He entered our lives when I was 13 so he has seen me through the end of childhood to being a grandmother… my heart breaks for my sister and niece. It is for them that I ache most.

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  3. I don’t think I could accept death at this point of my life, though I realize it’s not within my purview to choose when. And when I see a peer, a relative closer to my age die, I am struck by how memento mori it all gets. I hope your BIL is without pain and in peace with the moment. And I hope you get an occasional break. It is hard to sit watch at a dying person’s bed. You never know if it’s going to be today or next week or next month.

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  4. Beautiful photos.

    A really good friend of mine is fighting for his life against T-cell lymphoma. Wrote a post about it. He is the eldest of 12 and father to 8. He’s about my age, so I don’t think he’s hit 40 just yet.

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