didyahavagoodweekend?

Incredibly busy weekend as Daughter2 flew home from Perth to see her Uncle BIL in palliative care. Mr FD and I still have respiratory infections so we were unable to visit with BIL, instead taking D2 to the hospital and then spending time in the cafeteria while she was with her uncle. He asked her to come back in the afternoon, after he had rested a little, and so we went and had lunch before she returned for a second visit. We couldn’t face the cafeteria a second time, so Mr FD and I put the seats back in our car and listened to Neil Gaiman’s American Gods.

I think we dozed more than we listened because it was nearly an hour later that I actually thought about the narrative we were listening to and realised that the CD player had some how been switched to random and so we had been listening to the chapters out of order! No, not a drop of alcohol or any of BIL’s medication had passed our lips.

Then we took D2 back to Brisbane where she spent the night with her sister, before they drove out to us, with Petite Fille for lunch and a visit with their Grandmother in her care facility. D2 then had the 5 hour flight back to Perth to be at work Monday morning!

Weekends are so segmented these days. Visits with BIL, my mother and then time spent with Petite Fille as we want to be a real part of her life. Two days are just not enough, and then there are my continual health issues, an immune system that can be challenged by a butterfly flapping its wings in an Amazonian rainforest!

I miss D2 dreadfully since she moved to Perth. She has built a good life there, even appearing to have met Mr Right. We are yet to meet Mr Right due to the tyranny of distance, but all signs (Mum, we are moving in together!) are that he is a permanent family member now. Hopefully, by Christmas we shall meet and greet, and not frighten him with our magnificence too much. At least he has Mr Boy (Petite Fille’s daddy) to look to for survival advice!

Children come to share your nest, then they leave for their own lives, before returning to make that nest bigger and better. And so it goes…

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11 thoughts on “didyahavagoodweekend?

  1. I read Neil Gaiman as Carl Sagan and thought it was a bit of a departure for you….
    We have the joy of Mature Families to come. My brood are still safely tucked in the nest.
    But further afield both my brothers are estranged from the family, not even face booking each other. It’s sad but you don’t choose your family. I make regular efforts to get them back into the family but they don’t seem interested….

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    • I listen to audio books during the 40 minute drive to and from school and I try to listen to things I would never read normally, but I found that I quite enjoy Gaiman’s writing. Mr FD loves fantasy so he gets to listen after me!
      My brother is a bit distant, though closer to our sister who is also closer in age to him. I just take them as I see them, even if that is only once a year, less now that Mum is in care (they are not great on the visiting) but I am grateful that we aren’t like some families who fight and hiss at each other constantly. Brother and I are more indifferent.

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  2. I just got back from visiting my older daughter in New York, and I grieved about the distance between her and the rest of her family on the West Coast. The best jobs in finance are unfortunately there in New York, and my son-in-law is an ambitious man who likes his work. He also wants to provide a good life for his new family, which I take comfort in: I never want to see my daughter and grandson go through the difficulties I had to endure as a single mother. So I am also philosophical about it. It is hard, though, and calling it “empty nest syndrome” really doesn’t cover all of the mixed emotions a parent has, having a much-loved child live so far away.

    I do hope you’re feeling better. We are seeing a spate of colds and respiratory viruses out here now as the fall sets in, though I’m hoping for a less virulent winter than last.

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    • I think when a grandchild arrives it bring home just how quickly children grow up and not being near them to share that seems such a hardship. I am lucky Petite Fille is only an hour’s drive away, but if daughter2 has a family on the other side of the country it will be a heavy burden for me, not that I have any right to ask them to change their lives to suit me.

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  3. Remember when they were toddlers and we longed for some alone time? Remember when they were teenagers and we couldn’t wait for them to grow out of being a teenager? Then they grow up and leave, and then long for some time with them. Life is interesting.

    >

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    • I say that to Daughter1 when she wishes for some sleep time! I realise that I must have broken my Mum’s heart when I married and left home at 19 – I know she wasn’t ready for me to leave so soon…she phoned me every day for more than the first decade of my marriage.

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  4. The tribulations – the joys the everyday life that can turn around and hit hard in the face. I just read this after a very large screaming match with my 27 yr old daughter who lives at home still as financially she is screwed. I got screamed at that she hated me, that she hates living here… unlike my eldest daughter she has yet to spread her wings..and I need her too. You sound like you also going through the wringer and I hope life turns out better for you and BIL and Mr FD…sorry hun x

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    • We have a SON that age who is yet to spread his wings (undertaking his third degree!) so in some ways I mourn an empty nest as both daughters, my bet friends, have gone, but I still have one to mother, but he is a boy, a man and that is a totally different relationship.

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      • That it is, though I don’t have boys..it’s not quite the same is it. That’s what prompted me to write my Memoir – my feelings of when my eldest left and the grief that I experienced. They say they when children leave the nest it’s akin to someone dying (at least for the mother) and it’s a process that we have to go through before acceptance.

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