This morning I felt an overwhelming sense of panic and I really had to fight not to lose my plot. Breathe, I told myself. I had three tasks with looming deadlines and my anxiety went into overdrive.
Last night I had halved my sleep medication as I have been feeling more in control and I can’t use the medication for too long. I would rather be off it sooner rather than later, so I thought I was doing myself a favour and decreased the dosage. I slept well, but this morning it was a struggle to face the world.
So, I mentally listed my tasks, knowing that only one should be done today; though if it wasn’t it wouldn’t be the end of my world, despite my catastrophe thinking. I listed them and knew that I needed to stop procrastinating to be less anxious, so my best avenue of recovery was to tackle them. Smart, Flamingo Dancer! In turn, I admitted to myself that there was no way that all three could be completed today, if they were to be done well, so I set myself the goal of completing two, and to work on the third early next week.
When I left work in the afternoon, I had those two tasks completed and forwarded to the stakeholders. I felt a real sense of relief to say the leas!. The third is not due until the 20th so I really shouldn’t be panicking, but anxiety doesn’t allow a quiet mind.
I was going to write, best to get that task completed and off my worry list, but truthfully, I will probably just replace them with another set of worry tasks – such is the anxious mind. I have long ago accepted that and now all I can do is try to calm myself and instead of avoiding the task just set to and do it. Yes, I will be anxious, but I will be less anxious!
I never claimed to make sense!