contracting and expanding

awesome 1

So it went something like this…

I made an appointment to meet with the school head and I kind of, sort of, poked my finger into his direction and kind of, sort of said, how dare you speak to me in this manner when this guy didn’t do his bit and that guy didn’t do that bit etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. We agreed on some things, we disagreed on others and he admitted that he can be quite aggressive at times, which is as close as he could ever come to an apology.

Not deluding myself that the issue is at an end and I know he has the bigger stick, but I handle my stick with elegance and accuracy, so at least I stood up for my beliefs and values.

I had girded my loins to the extent that I was hauling students who dared look in the wrong direction during assembly out of the hall and sending them off to detention, with wild goddess abandon, earlier in the day. I think I even scared Minerva, who can herself be very scary at times! (God, I love working with that woman!)

In the end, a woman just has to do what a woman has to do! I feel as though I reclaimed me in the process too.

On the other front, yesterday BIL was transferred to a larger hospital’s palliative care ward as he has developed pneumonia (two years to the day since his first bout with pneumonia that signalled the start of his journey) and required two bags of blood as his haemoglobin was very low. I have resigned myself to the worst, but this morning he had rallied a little, so we fight another day.

His journey has reminded me of what is really important in life, and that time is so short that we can’t allow others to control our agendas. Fight, I say, fight to the death if one must…but it is important to know when to pack up one’s yurt and go to the next field too. It really is all about balance, a matter of contracting and expanding, to survive and thrive.

Depression 1: Resilience 10.

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6 thoughts on “contracting and expanding

  1. Ah, my Flamingo Dancer’s puffing out her feathers and kicking, as they say in the US, arse. Sounds like you’ve rounded a corner in living with BIL’s illness too.
    Always here if needed.

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  2. My therapist told me that depression was anger directed inwardly: when you are able to express your anger towards those who justly deserve it, the depression lifts. So perhaps you need to take your stick out more often and whack away. If someone complains, tell them you’re using it for therapeutic purposes. 😉

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