continuation on a theme

It is difficult to maintain equilibrium and sanity at the moment. Today the young husband of one of Daughter1’s closest friends was killed riding his motorcycle to work. He was 37 and the father of three small children, the youngest just 4 years of age.

This was a man who danced at our daughter’s wedding, his lovely young wife played hostess at our daughter’s baby shower earlier this year – the centre piece she made for the party still sits on a shelf in their family room. Now their lives are splintered for ever.

No, this doesn’t change my life in anyway. Just as BIL’s illness changes my daily existence little, but it still doesn’t stop me feeling empathy, love and pain.

It was only just a few short weeks ago that I said to my work colleague how serene my life was and how happy I was and now in so many ways, more than I list here, it has unravelled. I guess it is true we can only live in the moment for we know not what the next contains.

Take your moments and clasp them tight.

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20 thoughts on “continuation on a theme

  1. Urgh! Why is life like this?
    “This too shall pass” rings in my ears at times like these. The good and the bad each hover around us and allow us to think they’ll stick around. But they don’t.
    I had an Annus Horibilis a few years ago: two operations, a very messy house conversion and my FIL passing away. Christmas was purely for the kids and was a massive effort with a mourning wife and an empty chair at the table. But the world turned and happiness came back ……. for a while.
    Please don’t despair. I’m here, as are a few others who read your posts.
    X

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  2. While it does seem that the negative outnumbers and overpowers the positive, I have to constantly remind myself that the “positive” includes every moment that we are experiencing anything that is NOT negative. The fact that our world is stable for the most part is a positive. But, when the negative strikes, man o man, do we feel it.

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    • During the last few years I have made a real effort to remember to be grateful for the little things, because mainly it has just been little things, except for our grandchild who is the best thing since our own children, but it seems the very moment I uttered that gratitude out loud everything crashed and burned.

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  3. Life is dogged by sadness. The only persons who don’t experience it are those who are past suffering, the dead. So, as you said: the only way to overcome it is to embrace life and live it fully. Feel your sadness; care for yourself and your loved ones, and remember there is joy just beyond the next rise. You can’t see it now, but it will be there if you let yourself experience it.

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    • There is nothing that can be said. Australia had a rather notorious bushranger (criminal), Ned Kelly, who was eventually hung for his deeds. His last words were “Such is life”… and that is about what it is!

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  4. I’ve always wanted to own and drive a motorcycle… and then I remember stuff like this. Not meaning to trivialize your loss in any way, just, unfortunately accidents and death seem to come as possible risks with motorcycles.

    But more on the point, I did deal with a death of a friend whom I hadn’t seen in years. Found out at the viewing just before the funeral– she’d struggled with 3 different kinds of cancer. What a sucker punch, and I kinda figured most of the strangers there had no idea why I fled the room to bawl my eyes out.

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    • I have had a couple of high school classmates die early deaths and it always stuns me when I think about to those days and the hopes we had. A work colleague bought a motorbike a couple of months ago and when I heard he was doing it, I pleaded with him not too – and three weeks ago he was involved in an accident too. He has a severe break to his elbow, needs six weeks off work and probably six months to heal though it may never be as it was. Stupid.

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  5. Sorry to read this FD….it is right that we feel compassion for those more directly affected, and a reminder for us to count our blessings….daily.

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  6. Oh God, I read this AFTER my last comment on death coming unexpectedly being better, How totally inappropriate it was. I am sorry.
    May the bereaved find the strength to face the tragedy.

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  7. Death is always a reminder of the bigger picture. When those involved are so young though and leave families behind, especially with kids, it just hits a nerve even more so I always think.
    The poor family.

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