cynical? who me? HELL YES!

white woman

It really is difficult not to become cynical about life, and more than a little bit paranoid too. The last week or so, I have had a touch of Spring Fever (ok, it is still technically winter, but in my mind I was feeling spring and it is my mind and so I can), and I have been very grateful for the sense of well being and happiness. Nothing special has caused this, just a mass of little things and being grateful for what I do have.

In one of my moments of quiet joy, I stopped and thought, I wonder how long before the smack in the back of the head?

Ever had that feeling, that happiness can’t last? That the Big Whatever is going to smite you down any moment for even daring to harbour happy thoughts and enjoy your moment?

Well, if you haven’t, you had better smarten up kiddo, because that is what happens in this big ugly world. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, even in the happiness factor.

Sunday we received news that beloved BIL was back in hospital, his second time in recent months (old friends will know BIL was close to death due to pneumonia about two years ago, and that was followed by the discovery of early lung cancer). Tests are still taking place and so we are all unsure of what is causing his extreme pain.

Then Monday, I was the target of some rather nasty workplace bullying by management . I was minding my own business and the bolt came right out of the blue. It is yet to be resolved, but as we all know, these things never end well. Sigh.

So, call me cynical, call me paranoid, but now I know why I have the stick list.

Now, tell me about your week? If you dare!

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16 thoughts on “cynical? who me? HELL YES!

  1. 100% with you on this. I’m not pessimistic but if things are going well it’s me who is looking for the gaping hole around the corner. With us all is good – well goodish – and sure enough we get a letter to say that tardy consultants are putting one of Ashley’s benefit payments in jeopardy. Gill, our resident Rottweiller, was on the phone and actually liaising between the two departments. Advised her to make sure she follows up to ensure calls were made and copy form sent. The secretary at fault didn’t take it seriously …. until Gill tightened her girdle and let rip. Proud of that girl.
    Truly hope BIL finds some relief and that your work monkeys bugger off and find someone else to annoy.

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  2. Oh hell yes, I know this one well. I was raised with, “Just when things got good, he died.” So every time things get good, like those “moments of quiet joy,” I wonder when the smack in the head is coming. Yesterday it was learning my 72-year-old brother fell and broke his collarbone and pelvis in two places. He’s a 1,000 miles away and I haven’t been able to talk to him. A week ago it was learning his son may have a life-threatening disease. All we can do is hold our head high (not so it’s easier to smack) and take it one day at a time.
    Hope you hear good news about BIL and work issues get resolved quickly.

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    • OOOhhhh poor brother and son – best wishes to them. I would be happy to live in a rut if all the drama was taken out of daily life. I know why we die when we are old now – we get worn out by constantly being knocked to our knees!

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  3. Hmmm…last Thursday I fell again, for the third time this year. Yesterday I was at the doctor for a memory problem that’s getting worse. Onto more tests and medication reviews. Sorry to hear about the bullying. That’s very unprofessional!

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  4. I try very hard not to expect the other shoe to fall – but there are those days when I just want to scream “enough!” Unfortunately there have been several of those recently, but today is better. For the moment. Whoops!

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  5. Sarah Jessica Parker taught me to never be too happy. (This might sound strange if you know me and my about section in my blog, where I claim that I strive for happiness, in all I do.)

    Never mind, SJP taught me this wisdom in the best movie of all times; Girls just want to have fun.

    She teaches us this we she come back from the club and accidental claims that Jeff is her boyfriend.

    Therefore I always think twice before I shout out my happiness and usually think of at least two bad things. Just to even up the shit.

    So I hear you sister and I am with you.

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  6. The Big Whatever has smite me (smitten me?) several times over the course of the week. I’m not bitter or cynical about it, unless you count my grousing to people that “it always happens in threes.”

    I’m sorry about the bullying. Honestly, some people really ought to be struck with a big, hard stick. I’m thinking of getting a wooden kendo [fencing] sword, myself. It’s hard enough to cause pain, but not sharp enough to actually whack someone’s head off. Though that could happen next….

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    • I would be tempted to sharpen the kendo sword…I work in an environment where if you aren’t a football following male who enjoys a Friday afternoon drink or three then you don’t live well and prosper.

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