Some of the thoughts that keep me awake at night:
Do I need to pee?
If I don’t pee, will I pee in my sleep?
Did Mr FD lock the front door?
Did Mr FD remember to be on the interior side of the door when he locked it?
Am I hot? (This can be examined two ways, but as I am secure in the knowledge that I am hot, the quandary in this instance relates to body temperature.)
Will I be a good looking corpse?
Which kid is going to care for me best in my old age?
How often do I have to visit Mr FD in the old man’s home to stop the staff talking about me?
Will my feet shrink as I age?
If I was Edward Snowdon what escape route would I have arranged for myself from Hong Kong?
Should I wear the black black, or the black tomorrow?
Is it really possible to do a deal with the devil?
Can I block book waxing treatments before I enter the old ladies home?
Why do so many of the local women walk the streets barefoot?
Should I stop telling myself where I hid the chocolate?
Will Augie Dog grow up with abandonment and identity issues because he was adopted into a family of different ethnicity, and species?
What will I take for lunch tomorrow?
Do the navy shoes smell too much to risk wearing to a meeting in the boardroom?
Do I have to read this month’s book club choice?
Will anyone ever love me as much as I love me?