Thoughts that keep me awake at night

Some of the thoughts that keep me awake at night:

Do I need to pee?

If I don’t pee, will I pee in my sleep?

Did Mr FD lock the front door?

Did Mr FD remember to be on the interior side of the door when he locked it?

Am I hot? (This can be examined two ways, but as I am secure in the knowledge that I am hot, the quandary in this instance relates to body temperature.)

Will I be a good looking corpse?

Which kid is going to care for me best in my old age?

How often do I have to visit Mr FD in the old man’s home to stop the staff talking about me?

Will my feet shrink as I age?

If I was Edward Snowdon what escape route would I have arranged for myself from Hong Kong?

Should I wear the black black, or the black tomorrow?

Is it really possible to do a deal with the devil?

Can I block book waxing treatments before I enter the old ladies home?

Why do so many of the local women walk the streets barefoot?

Should I stop telling myself where I hid the chocolate?

Will Augie Dog grow up with abandonment and identity issues because he was adopted into a family of different ethnicity, and species?

What will I take for lunch tomorrow?

Do the navy shoes smell too much to risk wearing to a meeting in the boardroom?

Do I have to read this month’s book club choice?

Will anyone ever love me as much as I love me?

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16 thoughts on “Thoughts that keep me awake at night

    • I find now that the children are all adults that the death and destruction thoughts are less. I have accepted the cycle of life for aged parents. Last night’s quandary was whether I should withdraw Neil Gaiman’s book, American Gods from the school library as it has explicit sex and the c word…but it is so beautifully written.

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  1. Ah sweet insomnia. Alas as I usually fall asleep shortly before my head hits the pillow, such thoughts don’t often occur to me. However, I do wake up in the foul small hours wondering what has stirred me. But then I have me wife’s nocturnal chatter to amuse me until I drop back off again.
    Yes you can do a deal with Devil, but he will always profit more than you and No, never stop telling yourself where you hid the chocolate and finally … You will make an exquisite corpse.

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    • I hope that I can look down upon myself after death so that I can admire myself , I trust my daughters to dress and accessorise me elegantly in my usual style (the laughing you hear may well be my daughters).

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    • great pictures junitse ! the picture with the wing of the plane on top of the clouds is really cool ! i cant remember being in an airplane..its been nearly 13 years =S lol. did you stand on that glass skydeck ?

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    • Breakfast with Santa! Saturday, December 1st from 9-11AMOssian United Methodist Church201 W. Mill Street in Ossian, In 46777Come have pancakes, decoiilus egg casseroles, smoky links, cereal, donuts, dutch crunch dessert, Coffee, milk and juice something for everyoneHave your children’s picture taken with Santa and then they can shop in the Elf Store for their family members. Elves will be available to help them shop so they can keep it a surprise! All gifts are $2 and gift wrapping is included. This is a fun, holiday event sponsored by the Norwell High School Show ChoirSee you there!

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      • Irrelevant spamming. FDs in Australia and I’m in Manchester England. This is not the forum for this sort of cold calling. In short, take a hike!

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  2. Perhaps you should work on thinking less when you go to bed. And how could could anyone NOT love you that much?

    “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” ― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

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    • I do try to mediate some nights as I lay me down to sleep, but when one had a brain such as mine, these things don’t always go as planned. I was just yelling at the tv (we are in the midst of an election after all) about politicians launching probes into the actions of the previous govt, their agenda to keep them out of govt longer, and how they should stop looking backward but go forth, middle class people! I should get a t shirt with Winnie’s wisdom.

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    • To be honest, I try and hit the pillow an hour or two before Mr FD for obvious reasons, but I admit that over the years I have learnt to go with less sleep – but as they say, never miss an opportunity to sleep, eat or go to the bathroom!

      My feet are already wide and long, oh dear!

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  3. When I go to bed, I tend to be so tired I fall asleep right away. Unfortunately, after a good four hours I’m awake again, and then I start thinking: Did Dad leave all the doors unlocked? Did someone remember to put the trash cart out on the curb? (This comes the night before garbage collection day.) Your thoughts are much more original. Not that I want to lie awake at night thinking about whether I should make body waxing appointments before I enter the “old ladies’ home.” Just the thought of getting a Brazil wax makes me cringe.

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