loss and devious ways

yurt 3

Arrived home Sunday night, after a weekend of helping with Petit Fille, to learn that my uncle (married to my mother’s elder sister) had died. He was also 90 and it wasn’t unexpected. I am trying not to think about “things coming in threes”.

Mr FD’s cousin declared at MIL’s funeral that “we are the older generation, now!” That was a little scarey and also a little bewildering. She is in her 60s, as is Mr FD and his sister. I, of course am still in my 50s so I am pretending that her declaration does not include me!

A colleague is having some issues with one of the members of her team and is feeling utterly unsupported and actually ill treated by our management who should be backing her up in an issue with the subordinate, and I do feel so much empathy for her, having lived through The Basement of Discontent and an even more poisonous workplace prior to that. The age old story that management actually have to see a number of good staff walk out the door before they realise who the real poison in the workplace is. “Street fighters” can never be handled by taking the moral high ground, better to go where you will be happier and supported.

In a strange coincidence I was buying take out at a highway stop last week when I looked to my right and the “poison” from my previous workplace was standing not two meters away. I don’t know if she recognised me as it has been ten years, and I now have grey hair, but I certainly recognised her – and utterly ignored her.

My natural instinct would be to be polite and say hello (and we all know how I find being nice exhausting), but in her instance I just thought I am no longer paid to tolerate you, and I have no need to acknowledge you and so I didn’t! It felt good, it still feels good.

I hope my colleague doesn’t leave, as she is my one true friend, after Minerva the Library assistant, but life is too short and too much time is spent in the workplace to waste it in a situation that makes you unhappy. Often we don’t realise how unhappy we are until we go somewhere where we learn to be happy again. She may have to do that.

The saying “Life’s a shit and then you die” is running through my mind right now. Tomorrow is another day…


6 thoughts on “loss and devious ways

  1. I have worked in environments like that and I agree with your thoughts that life is too short to put up with it. It’s not good for our health either!


  2. Since moving back to my hometown, I’ve had the opportunity to run into a couple of “mean girls” from my old high school days. One looks remarkably the same as I knew her in high school, except that she wears bifocals and matronly outfits now. The other has “the face she deserves,” as Coco Chanel put it: crows’ feet, wattled neck, and a frown that could scare small children and birds out of the trees. (Doubtless she practiced that.) I chose to ignore them—I don’t think they recognized me anyway, as I’ve cut off all of my hair and have put on weight. But it was odd, the memories they triggered. They were clique queens and capable of causing such misery among the less popular students. Now they are quite ordinary. Time defangs monsters.

    Condolences for your uncle. No, don’t think about things coming in threes. You need your beauty rest.


  3. I am just returning from the wedding of the youngest of my husband’s cousins and was just thinking that all in our generation have now bitten the dust…the next marriage will only be of someone from the next generation (we generally don’t have multiple marriages in our culture…yet).
    We are now the “adults” of the family now…and the oldies are already on their way out….so in no time, we will be there too.
    Fleeting life.


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