Tag Archives: resilience

We all have a path to take; sometimes it’s hidden under a damn big pile of weeds though

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I can not tell you what a difference knowing I have secure and permanent employment has made to my mindset. In 2008, I was made redundant from the Basement of Discontent, and I know I chose to retrain as a teacher, but I feel as though I have wandered in the wilderness ever since. Four years of constant stress and poverty, living from contract to contract; never any income across the summer break. I believe, however, that I did the right thing in going back to university to study full time at the age of fifty, and I am sure that I would never have achieved the security, nor the job satisfaction that I have now, otherwise.

I feel so much lighter as though a burden really has been lifted. I also feel confident and finally have belief in my knowledge and abilities. If only employers realised what a burden they place on the contract or casual worker. If they want productivity to increase they need to offer security to their staff.

It has been a long road, with so many ups and downs, broken dreams and hopes but now I feel as though the tide has turned and that good times are coming our way (yes, I am trying to see how many clichés I can put into one sentence!)

As I have said previously, I finally feel as though I am contributing something to my community, I have the joy of working with people that I really enjoy working with, and I am happier than I have ever been in any workplace. At this moment, I feel a very rich woman.

Just remind me of this when I start to complain in a day or two, as no doubt I will, for we forget our good fortune all too easily.

Did I tell you that I found a knife carved from wood under one of the couches in the library? The deputy principal called it a pretty good imitation of a “shank”, all I know is that it had a pretty sharp point and with a bit of tape and paint would have passed for the real thing. I bet the student was disappointed on the way to rob the 7/11 to discover they had dropped their wooden knife.

If only they turned their talents to good…

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word salad

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9

I woke up one morning early last week to a Paul Simon song and now the lyrics “who am I to blow against the wind” have been on repeat in my incredible brain ever since.

So, here, have it in your head and maybe it will leave me alone!

The song was in the back of my head all week and what a week it was. My aide was away ill for two days, then I had to rush off to a job interview, which led to an offer of full time permanent employment at the school I have been teaching at all year (it was only a year contract to end of November). When the other school phoned to check my references they decided to finally tell me I am doing a “fantastic job” and that they wanted me to stay permanently. As I have been very happy there, and better the devil you know and the devil you don’t I agreed. And kids are kids wherever you go!

So maybe not blowing against the wind was just the attitude I needed. But now, it is all yours. Listen to it once, listen to it twice, just take it out of my head!

[And oh, what I know I know, is that you don't ever let anyone else set your agenda. You need to do what feels right in your gut and your heart. Take responsibility and be resilient.]

perhaps despair exaggerates my misery; or alas and alack, going to hell in a hand basket

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I started to write a manifesto to parents informing them that their children were feral, but I thought better of it. If they don’t know their children are feral by now, they don’t want to know.

Why my attitude you ask? Well, in our lovely new library we have sectionals on wheels, wheels that can be locked. We can place these together like pieces of a pie to form seating circles, or snakes, or even the number eight. I usually walk the floor during breaks, talking with students and just keeping an eye on things, but today, my lovely aide was away ill and so I was solo and needed to be at the front desk during break. I turned to see one student lift one of the sectionals (large enough to seat three year 8 students) over his head and proceed to walk through the mass of students in the library. I ordered him to cease and desist, as well as to leave the library immediately. He blinked at me, stunned that his behaviour was not tolerated.

Earlier in the day I discovered that an infloor outlet that allows students to plug their computers in to recharge had been vandalised. Not only had the metal flip lid that sits flush with the floor been ripped off, but the cables inside had been cut, possibly with a pair of scissors. The IT guys declared it an electrical hazard. This would have taken some concerted effort and was probably executed in front of a number of other students. (We all know whom I would like to execute…)

At the beginning of the year, the students were in awe of the library and treated it with respect, but just like their attitude to other things at school, their respect is waning. Short attention spans to everything syndrome.

I gave my class a period of free reading in the library today also, and several of them acted as though I was punishing them. One or two were obviously angry that I expected them to sit quietly and read. My criteria was that they could read anything, be it fiction, nonfiction, graphic novel, picture book, magazine or newspaper, but the vast majority were affronted that I expected them to do individual silent reading. Easiest class all day, I argued. Not impressed, Miss.

So another day of having my worst fears confirmed that we are going to hell in a hand basket. I am also wondering if they are so feral and defiant at home, or do they just save it up for school? I don’t for one moment believe that this behaviour is only exhibited in the library, other teachers have confirmed my fears that it happens in the classroom, and to look at the amount of litter in the school yard, despite a rubbish bin every 5 metres, in the school yard as well.

Here we are so concerned about climate change for the sake of future generations, and the majority of them appear not to give a care! They litter, deface and destroy with monotonous regularity. They appear to appreciate nothing, not $2million dollar libraries, lap tops handed to them for a fraction of the cost of buying one, or landscaped gardens for their pleasure and relaxation.

Am I wrong? Have I missed something? Do they in fact appreciate something, anything; or have we created a generation with an outsized sense of entitlement? If so, what happens when they have to provide for themselves? What happens when they have to provide it for others, be it ageing parents or their own children? Can there be a happy ending?

not quite another day like all others

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This week is the anniversary of the horrific floods of 2011. The media has been making much of the event. On Sunday night there appeared to be a replay of an interview with one of the victims, and a media effort to simplistically assign guilt to one action, or lack of action.

The hell that hit many areas that week can’t really be allocated to the actions of a particular individual, or one specific cause. Well, beside the rain! Like many events in life, a number of conditions and actions came together in a very cataclysmic event. While it is human nature to blame infrastructure and governments, rules and regulations, there must also be a look taken at the responsibility of the individual too.

Many of the people overtaken by events were long time residents, and in my opinion should have taken more care abut where they chose to live. I don’t think anyone should buy a house, or land, without checking flood maps. There was a major flood in 1974 and many of the homes deluged in 2011 were deluged in 1974.  Is there not an element of buyer beware?

It can not be denied that successive councils and local governments should not have allowed people to build new homes on the banks of flood prone creeks and rivers. The land should not have been developed, and the people should not have moved there. We are all too wise in hindsight now.

The tragedy is ongoing. Many of the people who survived those fateful days have suffered post traumatic stress, family breakups and often are still homeless. The body of my cousin is yet to be found. My niece is yet to move back into her house. Her family is still living in a modified stable, more due to insurance fights than lack of effort.

There have been committees, hearings and reports ever since. Rules and regulations have been changed. Terminology has be updated and made more descriptive and informative. A new town on higher ground is under construction. Life goes on, for most.

Horrible things happen to people every day of the year. Some times it is to an individual, a family, a town, a nation. It is only when we are directly involved that we really pause to reflect on the event and its aftermath.

The events of 2011 taught me that life can, and does, change in an instant. The most basic thing I can do is to be personally responsible for my decisions and actions, and to learn skills that will not only make me resilient, but allow me to flourish.

I also need to make my vote count, perhaps for local government even more than national government as that vote impacts every element of my daily life and even my survival.

I will value what I have and enjoy it in every possible moment by taking time to reflect and to not only be grateful but to live a life that has active goals, big and small.

They were tough lessons to learn.

in need of a cupful of saving graces

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Constantly regard the universe as one living being, having one substance and one soul; and observe how all things have reference to one perception, the perception of this one living being; and how all things act with one movement; and how all things are the cooperating causes of all things that exist; observe too the continuous spinning of the thread and the structure of the web.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, iv. 40.

You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then – to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the thing for you.

—T.H. White

Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them

—H. Jackson Brown

Someone was hurt before you, wronged before you, hungry before you, frightened before you, beaten before you, humiliated before you, raped before you…yet, someone survived…You can do anything you choose to do.

— Maya Angelou

You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces – my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined.

—  Elizabeth Edwards

Mr FD’s mother was told by her doctor yesterday, some very unexpected news. She has acute renal failure and has “weeks, if not months” to live.

MIL is 88 and though suffering with a variety of chronic age related ailments we all considered that her general condition meant that she would be with us for another couple of years, so this news has come as rather a shock.

She has now accepted that she needs to stay in care!

And after Mr FD dealing with his parents issues all day yesterday, he came home, clicked open his email and found an email informing him that someone he had worked closely with for years had died. We knew he had bowel cancer, but his death was not expected so suddenly. He was only 63.

In the year 2000 I was diagnosed with an early stage cancer, and my Dad suffered though the last stages of dementia which resulted in his death in the November of that year. Mr FD was also made redundant from a long held position. That year we just reeled from stress to sorrow. 2011 is certainly shaping to revival that for trauma, stress and anxiety. Such is life.

 Hey, Big Whatever – ENOUGH ALREADY! Consider our parade flooded!