Tag Archives: life lesson

Life lesson 405, or is that 2835 in dog life lessons?

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There had been a puppy accident in the house, and from the opposite end of the house I heard Mr FD giving Augie Dog a life lesson : how to ask to have the door opened to go outside.

“Augie, look at me, listen Augie, we don’t poo in the house. Well, we do, but you don’t. What you do is walk over here, see Daddy is standing at the door and he wants to go out. Augie, Augie… if you want to go out you stand at the door and you ask to go out. You go, whine whine (imagine a fully grown man attempting a puppy whine. I know sad isn’t it, but someone had to marry him) and then someone will come and let you out. Then you can poo on the lawn. Grass is better than floor. Augie at the door, whine whine, Augie goes outside.”

Later, I asked Mr FD if Augie listened to his lesson.

“Oh he listened, well he made eye contact, but I don’t think he took much in. I may have to go over it again.”

Augie is not the only one who needs to get out more.

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an Olympic lesson

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The Olympics are probably one of those occasions that some of us love and hate at the same time. Love to hear the human interest stories and to see our national tallies grow, but can’t wait for it to end so that life gets back to normal and our regular television schedule returns!

I have given up watching the event. Why? I seem to have not been sent the memo that said that we were all to change our attitudes and to castigate and criticise anyone who did not win. We, as arm chair experts, apparently, are not to consider a second or third place as worthy of praise.

Indeed, if someone wins a silver medal, we must at all costs restrain ourselves from saying “Well done!”; but rather point out that they failed to get gold. The more seasoned critics point out how, if we had just clipped our pubic hair, or tweezed our nostril hair, we would have gained on our competition. Less than number one is failure.

I feel such a fool, for as a teacher I stupidly urge my students to have a go. Silly me, I stand in front of them and tell them that it doesn’t matter how well they do, as long as they try. Moronically, I also suggest that they try to have fun along the way. If only I had known that I was blowing against the wind, I would have alerted them to one of the truths of modern life: failure is anything less than number one.

Also, failure means public humiliation and the right of anyone and everyone to offer their opinions and criticisms. Failure means that you must not for a moment falter in the stiff upper lip and instantly done your sack cloth as punishment – punishment for not meeting our false expectations, and bringing reality to bear in the form of not everyone being able to finish first.

The memo must have stated that second or third means that you did something wrong; not that you tried your best, but someone else was better on the day. Every action of your last few weeks, months or every minute since the day you were born will need to be dissected by media on a 24 hour news cycle until the become distracted by another victim.

Why devote years of your life to a sport, give up self indulgence and spontaneity for discipline and restraint, when people who never say no to a second helping, and rarely rise from their bed before 7am will freely gut you at the first moment they sniff vulnerability?

No wonder our children are so apathetic. Why try if you can’t be number one, because who wants to be a second placer and therefore a failure? If you don’t try, you can’t fail, so that makes it all right doesn’t it? We can’t disappoint the public and the media if we remain in our place and try nothing new, aspire to nothing and just maintain our allotted status quo, can we?  Winning is so important that we need to consider cheating and manipulating for gain that podium position, right?

Risk? Forget it that is for fools.

I am so glad I finally got the message otherwise I would have continued leading children astray by my urging that it is not whether you win or lose it is how you play the game. I have to get a new tee shirt, Win, Win, Win, or we attack.

Week one – a happy new year, indeed!

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Resolutions 2012

I must change.

I must remove all the excess. 

I must get rid of all the clutter.

I must eat healthier food.

I must exercise.

I must read more, for pleasure and professionally.

I must watch less TV.

I must be more active in my own life. 

Reflecting on the first week of 2012,  my general opinion is that it has been a good year, so far!

I have continued to work on many aspects of my resolutions. My home office is now clutter free and tidy. Six boxes of books were collected by Lifeline on Thursday. The back garden has been pruned, and mulched. We have finally eaten all the leftovers and oversupplies from Christmas (such an effort!). Despite this, I have tried to make healthier decisions regarding food choices, never easy for me at the best of times. I have tidied both spare bedrooms (daughters now vacant rooms) and put away the Christmas decorations. I know, I was going to guilt the children into doing it, but Mummy threw herself on the Christmas bonfire and did the chore. All stacked neatly back in the cupboard under the stairs, awaiting the elves next Christmas!

Not to be too perfectly wonderful, but I am, I have also been shopping for work clothes and managed to pick up three dresses for the some total of  sixty-eight dollars (AUS), all on sale. I look absolutely fabulous in them too! Add to that, a bit of socialising with family (Mother, Sister and BIL) and the week has been rather productive and amazingly stress free. Happy New Year indeed!

I can not describe the sense of freedom and satisfaction that I experience every time I walk through the upstairs and bask in the order and clean lines of my office, and especially my desk. It is priceless and it cost me nothing, except my own time and effort!  I know life is going to function a lot better for me now, as I go back to work and dive deep into a new job.

clutter stifles my elegant life!

Procrastination was banished this week, replaced by planning and effort and I have accomplished success on the home front, and an overwhelming sense of achievement. I have one more week before I return to work, so this week I want to go through my closet and toss anything I didn’t wear during 2011, as well as tackle our bedroom is general. Then onto the front garden, which should not be quite as heavy a job as the back as there are no palm trees in the front garden. Our front garden is more pine trees, box hedges and orange jasmine (Murraya paniculata), so one or two afternoons should bowl it over.

Then of course, there is the maintenance to perform before going back to work. Maintenance on me, hard as it is to believe! One day to the doctor for a regular check-up, and then a trip to the hairdresser for the usual hair highlights and waxing! Oh, and restock all the foods I like for my “school” lunches. I may need a lie down after all that!

So, what have I learnt this first week of 2012? Well, for a start, that being more active in my own life takes planning and effort, but the payback is instant and energising.  There are unexpected bonuses along the way, such as not putting weight on over Christmas and New Year, as working in my garden (exercising, dare I say it!) balanced the scales for me. Works for me!

Also, making the decision to part with things I thought I could never live without, in this instance, some books, has made me feel proud of myself, given me uncluttered room to shelve my chosen books with more respect, decreased my stress as I declutter my life and home, and allowed me to help others by donating my things to charity. I look at things so differently now; things in my house, but also when I am shopping. I am very much needs rather than wants now, and I feel so much freer.

So, onward, ever onward, to week 2, 2012!

Week 1 Lessons:

1. Procrastination has no benefits. Never did, never will.

2. Cull books that I won’t read again, or won’t read in the next few months. Recognise that books are not an emotional prop, or a trophy.

3. Buy classic clothes in solid colours. Change with accessories of the season or the current trend eg. scarves. I am a great lover of pearls and brooches, and find that these can change the look of an outfit just by going sophisticated or casual with accessories.  This marks my elegant individualism too!

4. Donating to charity helps me to help myself. It’s almost a guilty pleasure.

5. Leading by quiet example can motivate the entire family. It works more effectively and faster than nagging. Yeah!

Woody Guthie's New Year's Resolutions 1942

not so gentle reminders

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I was reminded of a couple things today.

The first thing was that Mr FD can still outsmart me on the odd occasion. Mr FD wondered aloud why his wife/slave was not making him a Saturday morning breakfast and was answered with “because I am working again.” He appeared to accept the answer and wandered back into the kitchen to cook some eggs.

A few minutes later he called from the kitchen requesting I watch his pan while he made an urgent visit to the bathroom. Assuming his eggs were in danger of burning I put down my book and grumbled my way out to the kitchen.

I found a frying pan heating on the stove, but there was nothing in the pan! Mr FD could simply have switched the stove off until his return. Instead, I ended up cooking his eggs, which just happened to be ready and waiting when he reappeared.

I didn’t tell him what I may, or may not have added to the cooking eggs…but if evil thoughts could end lives, Mr FD may not last the night.

The second thing I learnt was at the hairdressers. I don’t know if they over booked, or simply mistimed things, but they were already running late when I arrived for my appointment. I waited to be taken in, then when she washed my hair she parked me for another 20 minutes while she finished another customer’s hair.

I was getting a little annoyed, well a lot annoyed, but decided there was nothing I could really do so tried a few mediation techniques and calmed myself into the moment. When the stylist returned she proceed to give me an extra long head massage when I really wanted to say “skip it and get on with the cutting”, but politeness won, if only just.

So three hours later I am at the desk making my next appointment, ready to flee like a giselle from the salon and reclaim what was left of my Saturday, when the stylist starts to thank me profusely for being so patient and not complaining and how she appreciated me waiting so calmly for her. She then gave me a $20 discount!

The day’s lessons weren’t over yet, dear friends.

Mr FD brought home a copy of Dr Carole Hungerford’s book Good Health in the 21st Century last night (it is one of the book titles we stock on our website, and he had been to the warehouse and picked up a copy). Just reading it while I waited at the hairdressers made me feel not only optimistic, that I was doing something positive with my life, but I also started to think of some healthier versions of the meals I was planning to cook this weekend.

Stopping at the supermarket to collect a few things I found myself buying organic meat and produce despite the extra cost. A Flamingo Dancer deserves only the best of course! Standing at the checkout, I was feeling really good about myself, and that is when I had another lesson, for I reached over and purchased a cloth bag for my groceries. I have a pile of cloth bags at home, but if I forget to take them to the supermarket I usually just accept plastic bags. Today I paid for yet another bag, instead.

My healthy food made me feel happy about myself, and in that state of mind I was more thoughtful of the earth. My joy is joy to the world (yes, I can hear the music too).

So, what did I learn?

Well, from Mr FD that sometimes you just have to admit defeat and retreat, to return to fight another day! One thing about marriage is that you know that there always will be a chance for revenge on another day!

My hairdresser reminded me that what goes around comes around. And maybe the meek really will inherit the earth, or at least cheaper hair cuts! I have to admit that I did get some quality reading time in too!

And that led me to my third lesson and perhaps the most important, and that is; when I care about myself, I care about others. Feeling happy, positive and proactive about my own life made me consider my environment as well, and that is a win, win for everyone.

Not bad for one Saturday, I say.

What I learned today

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Early this morning there was an eclipse and it taught me a very important life lesson.

Last night while watching the local news program we were informed of the time that the eclipse would be visible in Brisbane skies. I made a note of the time it started, and I promised myself that I would go outside and view it.

I didn’t.

When the time came, I was warm in my winter bed. Our bedroom, with the windows and blinds shut against the crisp morning air was bathed in deep shadow. Snug in my cosiness I told myself…just another 15 minutes and I will get up. They said it would be visible for awhile.

I never did get out of my bed to view the eclipse. I let the moment go.

When I finally did rise, I switched on the morning news to see glorious photos of the eclipse, from many and varied parts of the world. Regret slapped me in the face with stinging rebuke.

I allowed a moment in time to pass by. I chose not to partake in a global moment of history. I took the easy path and the easy path led me nowhere.  I missed out on the beauty and wonder of our universe. My choice.  I let me down.

Choices have consequences, big and small, but choices also have the ability to enrich our lives, and bring us joy, and I forgot that as I was snuggled in my bed. I could have put on a warm gown and some warm shoes and sidled out the door of my house to watch, even for just a few minutes. Then I could have gone back to bed and slept as long as I wanted to as I had no appointments today. Today I am free to be, and I let my self down.

Next time I will watch that eclipse, take that moment in time and live a fuller life.

a life lesson, sort of…

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Today there were kangaroos in our kitchen.

Well, not exactly. This morning as I rose and headed to the bedroom door, Mr FD warned me to “watch out for the kangaroos in the kitchen.”

“How do you know there are kangaroos in our kitchen?”

“I heard them thumping around down there.

“How did they get into our kitchen?” I asked, not quite convinced.

“Someone must have let the door open. Thomas [Son's friend]  was here last night maybe he let them in.”

“What are they doing in our kitchen?”

“Stocking up on breakfast cereal.”

“Of course,” I replied wiser now. ” They could put dry cereal in their pouches and eat it as they bound along.”

“Exactly” replied Mr FD rolling over in bed. “Beware of cereal searching kangaroos.”

Wise man, Mr FD, wise man.

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My mother is an anxious woman. I suspect she is 74th generation anxious and she has done a mighty fine job of passing it on to the next two generations at least.

As she ages, my mother becomes more anxious. She worries that she will get wet, that she might get cold, that she will run out of milk. So we have stopped telling her some things. FOR HER OWN SAKE, we say.

We lie to protect Mum from her own fears and anxieties, so that is ok, right? My real fear is that now, some 52 years from the womb, that I may develop a propensity to lie to my one surviving parent. Not that I had a plethora of parents to lie to previously, just the two, but Dad couldn’t even remember my age when I was growing up, so lying would never have been needed with him anyway. And towards the end he couldn’t even remember me at all so that kind of swept the slate clean!

 This is a side of caring for oldies that no one ever warns you about, a bit like when you give birth no one warns you that you will have to teach them to drive and allow them to take the family car one day. When your parents age sometimes you have to lie to keep them happy.

 I am not good at lying. I am ok at the old “of course you look fine in that god awful dress” lie. That is being polite. The other stuff, lying about the fact that your child hasn’t visited Grandma for a couple weeks because in fact they are out of the country, that is a little harder. And remembering the lie to keep the farce going is a bit of a long order too.  My daughters have told me that they will teach me the tricks. Apparently they have it down pat. As I am the mother they must have been lying to all this time, I am not sure how I should take that little bit of information.

 Maybe I will ask them to lie about their lying just to keep me calm and happy too. Ignorance is indeed parental bliss.

 Life Lesson 947: It is alright to lie to your mother if it will save her suffering, and you can hide your tracks.

 And if I am not struck by a bolt of heavenly lighting today I may be back tomorrow with another life lesson.