I fear Mr FD needs more adult company. Regular readers of The Flamingo Dancer blog will know that Mr FD has the sheer indulgence of working from home. Some days he may only physically sight Son and the glorious FD, which for most people would be enough to make their lives complete for ever more. However, I fear that the solitude may be  effecting Mr FD in new and vaguely worrying ways.

Apparently, Mr FD has a new friend; an imaginary friend. A rooster named Bruce.

Yes, a grown man with an imaginary friend, a rooster named Bruce.

I was first introduced to Bruce, well, not exactly introduced, but informed of Bruce, early this morning. Bruce, I am told, is a bit of a Teddy Boy – he likes to grease his cock’s comb over to the right, and is partial to pointy toed shoes, which is an interesting image as he has a point for each toe on his claw, and let us not forget the spur at the back of his leg.

Are you all worried by now? By this stage I wasn’t sure if I should go to work and leave Mr FD alone.

But wait there was more… Bruce finds that Mr FD is not enough company, so he has a friend, George. Also a rooster, I take it. Bruce and George like to hang out from time to time, and Bruce has requested that he dine with us. As a request, Bruce considers it “chicken feed”.

It was about this time that I said that sure Bruce and George could come to dinner, they could be dinner. Mr FD was a tad distressed regarding my attitude to his friend and didn’t appreciate my humour at all. I wasn’t joking, but we will discuss that misunderstanding later.

Deciding that denial was my best avenue of coping, I went downstairs to make my breakfast before leaving for work. I decided to go back upstairs to our bedroom, and as I pushed open the closed door, Mr FD was on the other side, trying to open the door to exit. We scared the hell out of each other, much more than we normally do when we catch sight of each other. The good news was that Bruce was nowhere to be sighted.

As I reversed out of the garage, two bush turkeys ran from the inner sanctum of our front garden.

I am too scared to ask Mr FD for further details.