Come on do the Jerk!

knit

My arm flying above my head in a crazed impersonation of a one armed tarmac air traffic controller, I wondered what would happen if, as in the eruption of  Mt Vesuvius, disaster struck and I was instantly frozen in my position. What would future generations make of the middle aged woman sitting upon the toilet pedestal waving her arm above her head?

It is not a long story. Some times the royal evacuation system does not function as well as is required, often thanks to the side effects of this medication or that medication, and it means a little longer linger in the smallest room in the house.

Our throne room has a motion sensor exhaust fan, and if the Royal One contemplates life and the world in general for too long motionless (heavy thinking, man) the fan clicks off, thus demanding some form of motion to restart.

I have experimented with this motion requirement to ascertain just how much physical movement the fan requires to commence its cycle. The lifting of a finger is not enough, though an exaggerated sway from right to left does a fine job; as does the lifting of the lower arm and  the waving of the hand.

My personal favourite is a seated rendition of the 1960s dance routine, the Jerk (as a small child with a sister eight years older I was force fed Bandstand on a regular basis, so I know these things people). I am of the opinion that while it does not add to the 10,000 daily step requirement, the thrusting of the arms upward and downward three or four times does constitute burning of a few kilojoules. There is a developing theory that the downward thrusts may also assist in the gravity pull on other areas, but the data is still being processed.

I am working on the Mashed Potato as well. I may suggest that Mr FD try, Shake, Rattle and Roll…

just call me, Bubbles, baby

bubbles

Into the city for a Saturday sleep over with Petite Fille while her Mummy and Daddy dined at a French restaurant to celebrate their wedding anniversary. Sunday morning it was back to bubble blowing, and making aeroplanes by linking plastic clothes pegs and adding imaginative sound effects. I am a magnificent granny, as you would have expected.

Then it was out to lunch, before returning home to the country. We went to a nearby Japanese restaurant where I ordered a tempura prawn bento box with miso soup, and washed down with green tea. I joked Daughter1 and Mr Boy are eating their way around the globe this weekend, with an English style roast dinner planned for Sunday night dinner as well!

bento

Petite Fille had a lunch brought from home but did have a valiant attempt to master the chop sticks, and may just have pipped Grandmama on that task. Her papa, the foodie, was so proud.

The restaurant had an artificial cherry tree with fairy lights in the centre of the dining room, which of course took Petite Fille’s eye as soon as she spied it. I suggested that her parents should include such in their upcoming house renovation, but I fear my suggestion fell on deaf eyes.

photo-28

Petite Fille has learnt lots of new words, one being “sit” but she kind of says it as “shhit” so of course we take every opportunity to get her to say “sit” so that we can hear “shit”. It is a cruel trick on a small child, but a good one. It will make a great clip for the 21st birthday celebrations!

The run of luck was with me, and I garnered another poo nappy to change. That is four for four. Oh, the joys of grandmotherhood are varied and many.

a cry for help or a cry to pee; or maybe a cry to help pee…

alice

Nothing makes my eye roll back in my head faster than anyone sallying forth to describe their dream to me. Well, except for when they want to tell me the entire plot of the movie they just watched.  The dream I had early this morning, however has me breaking my own rule. It was either a cry for help or a cry to pee; or maybe a cry to help pee!

It went thus:

Driving on the highway the car radiator over heated, but I was able to coast into the carpark of a holiday park where I discovered that someone had shoved a pair of female panties into the radiator. A man came to help, and then for some reason I set off on foot while the radiator cooled down. I was most concerned that I didn’t know where I was, or how I would instruct anyone where to find me to assist me.

I ended up in a retail area and entered a David Jones store (an iconic Australian retail chain for the upper middle class where I never shop) This is when the toilet drama entered. I could see signs directing customers to bathrooms but could never quite find them. One sales girl was very helpful and directed me but I still could not find the actual door. She even tried to lead me there, but I just ended up on the street.

Then I was in a brownstone residential area (Australia does not have brownstones) and I saw beautiful large brown rabbits. They were just spectacular and I want to take their photo but I had too much in my hand – phone, camera, keys, and so couldn’t quite manage to take a photograph. One rabbit picked up a plastic trash can and replaced it on the front step of a house. When it stood up it was as tall as a person. The two rabbits went hopping along the street picking up rubbish and tidying the street as they went.

I thought, wow, they would make a better pet than Augie Dog, as they could help about the house, but rabbits are illegal in Queensland.

I was back on the search for a toilet.

My dream was interrupted by Mr FD and Augie Dog have a discussion in the living room and so now I don’t know if I ever did find a toilet, or ever got back to my car…

 

Quite a reasonable dream for a sane person, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought too.

Christmas in July

christmas table

Sunday

All three adult children home for Sunday lunch, and our perfectly perfect granddaughter, Petite Fille. I cooked all Daughter2’s favourite foods as she won’t be home for Christmas, and Daughter1 made a delicious apple pie, which we ate with some Christmas fruit cake that had been hiding in the freezer.

Daughter2 and Boyfriend were only able to squeeze us in for the day, as they had flown home to attend a wedding, and I am back to work (ugh) tomorrow, and they fly back to Perth tomorrow night. They came armed with gifts from their recent European holiday, and D2 had found the most gorgeous Norwegian tomte  and tomte family that I had put on my wish list.

nisse-borevagen

This is not mine, my tomte is far superior, but it is in another room and I am tucked in my bed and I am too um busy to take a photo

I have set the alarm clock for 5am. An expected morning temperature of 2C will have been mourning my bed before I even leave it. Tomorrow we are expecting the announcement on the selection of our new Principal – it will be a good day, or a bad day, only time will tell.

In the meantime, I am going to enjoy the glow of happiness that remains at the end of a happy family day.

Toast eating dogs and mulch covered trees are a few of our favourite things

FD topiary

Saturday.

Brisbane had its coldest winter morning in over 100 years this morning. Our Village is always colder than Brisbane in winter and usually hotter in summer. Lucky us. I didn’t peep my nose out form under the blankets until 9am and then only because I knewI needed to clean floors for Petite Fille’s visit tomorrow. Nothing like a visiting floor dwelling toddler to get floors cleaned!

Augie Dog appeared to me miss while I was away, and has been over excited ever since I returned yesterday. He can be quite enthusiastic in his love, and may I add that having a 40kg golden retriever land on my cold, bare foot is not one of my favourite experiences. He still garnered a slice of peanut butter toast for breakfast though. It is that GR face, and his all encompassing love!

Son pruned the shrubs at the front of the house during my absence. Some of them had grown to roof level and do provide some nice shade in summer, but as this is the dead of winter it is a good time to cut back and allow the afternoon sun to warm the living room. Our house is double brick walls, and we are finding that there is usually an 8 degree difference between interior and outside, which is something to be thankful for in winter!

The shrub branches were mulched and spread under the fruit trees, which were fertilised as well. Spring should be fruitful! Our lime, orange, mandarin and lemon trees are all doing well, and hopefully will grow to good fruiting size this season. It is wonderful when Son is on a break from university as he spends his time in the garden. I suspect that in another life he may have been a landscape gardener, but for now IT is his career path.

get well

Mr FD is still suffering post wisdom tooth discomfort and it must be over a month now, but I am happy, ecstatic! to say that the pain is lessening, and he is slowly improving, though it had been a long haul, especially for me! It is a year since his knee surgery and we appear to have done little except sort out niggling health issues for him ever since. A high maintenance Mr FD!

Another frosty night forecast, so I need to encourage MR FD into bringing in some wood for the fire…

 

I is for iron

iron

Monday

The excitement never ends!

After a day of rest on Sunday (yes, rest from rest. It can be done, I have perfected it!) Monday rolled in, a hair combing day. Drove to neighbouring village to purchase a new steam iron.

I do not like to iron. Minerva irons tea towels. I barely iron any clothing, and then only my own. The need must have been low as it is easily three weeks or more since our old iron broke (the temperature selection dial ceased to select a level and so remains cool if not outright cold) but back to work next week and needs must to securing a replacement.

I remember when Mr FD and I married,  to receive an iron as a wedding gift was an amazing present, as they were quite expensive. And no, it was not the era of Mrs Potts irons on the wood stove, there was electricity! Today, the store was offering an iron for just $14! Less than the price of a pizza!

However, it did not offer automatic shut-off, my only prerequisite as Mr FD is somewhat forgetful on the iron switching off front. We spent too many years retracing our drive from the end of the street to unlock the house so that we could check the iron was switched off and wouldn’t burn the house down in our absence; or presence on more than one occasion!

My purchase was $59, well within my projected budget, which allowed me to also purchase three new cotton blouses for work that my new iron will slide over with ease.

I was so excited about my outing and equally exhausted by all that civilised behaviour that an afternoon nap was called for.

Stay tuned for Tuesday – a blood test and a visit with Daughter1 and Petite Fille. Oh the action never ceases!

it is all very subjective, really

mememem

Saturday

Feeling a little bit not me, today. I am not sure who I am, perhaps you, which wold explain everything… or not.

The phone rang twice today – incredible need to rise to niceness.

First call was my sister to report on her preemie granddaughter who will be four weeks old on Tuesday. She now weighs 3 lbs. The baby, not my sister. Is still having a little air to support her breathing, and small doses of caffeine to help her remind her to breath (I think that was the explanation). I wonder if she is going to demand morning coffee in her bottle? All going well though for Mum and Bub, though sister is yet to meet her fourth grandchild as she has had a chest infection and therefore banned from the hospital. Good things are worth waiting for though.

Second call was from Daughter2 who arrived home from 6 weeks in Europe. It was the first time I had heard her voice in about 7 weeks so I was a wee bit excited. They had a grand vacation, and I am sure would have missed me if they had just remembered me, but such is the mother’s lot. I have been told that they won’t be with us for Christmas Day this year, as they will be with Boyfriend’s parents, which is fair enough, but, but – this is me! She is rejoicing in that she won’t have to assist with Christmas this year, just be a guest, and I thought, wow, that would be nice… ah well, be careful what we wish for, right?

Neighbour’s Daughter met Augie Dog and asked if she could take him for a walk, and Mr FD said YES! He didn’t warn her about how STRONG a 40kg golden retriever can be – and is, or that Augie Dog makes up his own mind on where he will or won’t walk. Then again, Augie, loves the girls so may just be a meek little puppy. Don’t lay money on that though.

So, how is your day? Any suggestions on who I might be channelling today and how do I send them back?

keeping the home fires burning.

firewood

Friday.

It was all go today. HAHAHAHAHAHAHhahahahaha.

We had a local supplier deliver a half yard of fire wood. High excitement. We didn’t have to buy wood last winter as our neighbour had chopped down a tree and gave us the wood, plus we gathered wood from our own garden, but supplies have run low for now and so a half yard of wood was the order.

The previous owners built a little raised hide for the wood, so hopefully there won’t be any snakes in this wood pile!

So we have a lovely warm fire heating the house tonight. I never get tired of sitting and watching the flames flicker and flare. Very meditative.

Holiday – one week down, one to go.

swollen bits, annoying medical matters and conversational meows

female remedy

Thursday.

More dressing, more hair combing. What is the use of burying oneself in the country if one must keep being civilised?

Drove with Mr FD to his periodontist in the hope he could relieve Mr FD’s continuing post wisdom teeth removal agony. No sympathy, no help. Periodontist is now top of the Stick List.

Visit to pharmacy who did not have adequate supplies in stock of very common medications. Not the first time this has happened. Have to return tomorrow to collect remainder of medication. ANNOYED.

Home. Headache remains, swollen and very painful glands along jaw and in neck. Is it Ebola?

In bed, bright red heat bag wrapped around neck for comfort, except it isn’t comforting. Have cancelled intended visit by Daughter1 and Petite Fille in case something infectious. Had to settle for conversation over phone, “What does a pussy cat say?” “Meow” [I ask the question, Petite Fille says the Meow. How could you think otherwise?]

The Big Whatever is still not playing fair, but does the Big Whatever ever play fair?