Thoughts during a long drive home :
Why do so many old ladies wear huge glasses that cover the entire top half of their face? Is it so that they have a better chance of finding their spectacles if they mislay them?
If a shelf talker claims a book is “unputdownable” it really means the bookshop staff have either not read it at all, or can’t think of anything to say about the book. I know, I used to write them.
Why do people ask “are you eating your lunch?” when they find you sitting at your desk eating your lunch?
And then, why do they still ask you to do something?
Colleague, He Who Never Ceases Talking, keeps walking into my office to watch the new school block being built adjacent to the library, as my window has a perfect view of the construction site. By 11am this morning he was in severe danger of winding up under a digger. How many weeks until holidays?
Why do they think that people who work in libraries do nothing all day but drink coffee and read books? I drink tea.
Why does the car that holds everyone up in the 100kph zone always have to be the one that speeds up in the 60kph zones?
Why do students believe everything a teacher says? For example a student was having problems logging onto his laptop and asked me to help. I told him to retry his password to as expected it worked. “Wow” he said. “Don’t you know everything when works when a teacher stands behind you?” “Really?” he asked with a look of wonder on his year 8 face. “No!” I confessed. “Oh…” the sound of disappointment in his voice was matched by expression. Sometimes it is like kicking a puppy.
Why is it that as soon as the water gets switched off everyone needs to go the the toilet?