Mr FD said that I called out “Please help me!” in my sleep last night. I have no recollection, but I am sure the dream must have centred around Mr FD and my need for an escape!
Earlier in the night, I heard Mr FD muttering in his sleep, “Oh dear, they cut off his shadow.”
Who? How? Where? Why? Another of life’s mysteries…
Finishing an evening snack in bed, I placed the empty plate on top of Mr FD’s pillow, rolled over and went to sleep. A little later I was woken by the sound of Mr FD’s voice.
“My head is on a plate.”
Right where it should have been all along…
Lying in bed and not feeling well, I moaned to Mr FD that “my life is shitty!”
“Yes,” replied dear heart, “and if you lived in a shed, it would be sheddy and if you lived under a tree it would be shady.”
And if I had a different husband?
Augie Dog and I were sharing an early autumn breakfast; his was toast, mine was eggs, salmon and mushrooms on English muffin with a lovely mug of tea, when through the open bedroom door a sleeping Mr FD could be heard declaring:
“Glorious! Victorious!”
Only in his dreams.
Mr FD was deep into his snoring and snorting sleep rhythm when he muttered, “Blood. What is that up there?”
Then all I could do was lie in the dark and think of brain splatter.
It is not as if Mr FD has been silent in his sleep, it is just that most of it is unprintable!
Last night I heard Mr FD muttering in his sleep “I just frown at it, that’s what I do, just frown at it!”
All the cares of my world were whirling and snarling around in my brain this morning as I sat predawn on the patio hand feeding cone head Augie Dog his rice and chicken breakfast (no greater love has a woman for her dog…. you know the rest). Sick and ageing mothers, colicky babies, sick puppies, and the state of the world in general were a portion and I was giving in to the sad faces when the sound of a bird way up in our tallest gum tree caused me to raise my head and look towards the early morning sky.
Silhouetted against the blue black sky was our lovely garden that we have inherited from the previous occupants. Trees, shrubs, grasses and the wildlife that inhabits them is gifted to me every single day and I never cease to marvel at the time, effort and dedication that others have put into my precious garden.
The wildlife is not restricted to the garden either. In the kitchen I discovered a little large lizard. I have no idea which lizard is which, I just scream “lizard!” and leap about the house calling for Mr FD. The long ago silently agreed consensus was that Mr FD coped with lizard, frogs and cleaning up vomit and I did spiders, his relatives on the phone and the Christmas cards.
My efforts were directed in keeping Augie away from the lizard, but with his cone head I doubt he would have stood much of a chance, but I wasn’t going to be blamed for any set back in his recovery, so I occupied him by alternating between calling “puppy, puppy!” and “Mr FD, a lizard”.
It was 5.30 in the morning and Mr FD knew there was no way his day was not about to start, so he slowly came out to our rescue. Naked.
N-a-k-e-d. Naked.
Think naked bald, hairy pear shaped creature with short thin legs.
I handed him the broom and pointed in the direction of the last sighting of our invader.
“It’s a gecko!” he sighed.
It didn’t look like any gecko I had ever seen, it was huge, but like everything else in the country it came in the free range jumbo size.
”You’re sure it’s not a baby goanna?” I needed convincing.
“It’s a gecko, you mad woman”.
It was at this stage that I reminded MR FD that he was naked and told him to take a look at what happened to Augie’s manly bits, so he pursued his conversational direction no more.
Mr FD chased the MUTANT MONSTER gecko around the kitchen, through the family room and out onto the patio where he stood sweeping the gecko towards the great outdoors and freedom. NAKED.
So, for the second time this morning I was thankful for our tall lumbering trees and thick undergrowth; for it hid Mr FD’s nakedness from the passing public. Or at least we can hope it did.
Mr FD returned the broom to the cupboard and returned to bed, his heroic duties done. I put an extra tea bag in my mug not sure if the day was looking up or down…
Wedding anniversary number 36 – and no one has murdered anyone, yet!
I will not take my love away,
when praises cease and seasons change.
While the whole world turns the other way,
I will not take my love away.
I will not leave you all alone,
when striving leads you far from home.
And there’s no yield for what you’ve sown,
I will not leave you all alone.
I will give you what you need,
In plenty or in poverty.
Forever, always, look to me,
And I will give you what you need.
~Matt Wertz
Whooo, I feel better now.
I was cranky earlier today, especially around lunch time when other people’s clutter in the library was making it impossible to function and Minerva kept complaining about it, but it has its own timeline and we just have to wait for it all to play out and then disappear. Then there was the teacher who crossed me by leaving a stack of folders in one of the public rooms when we told her she couldn’t and that really ANNOYED me, and she is person uno at the moment on the stick list (GOM, you are so far down the stick list now that you are practically off the list).
Then I walked in the door at home and picked on Mr FD for the first 10 minutes I was home, and I felt much better after that.
I put it all down to lack of chocolate (and I told Mr FD that he had better produce some tomorrow if he doesn’t want to be traded away; and it has nothing to do with Valentine’s Day which is just a silly commercial enterprise to make a lot of women unhappy, but because Mr FD has the time to go to the stores) and the fact that my grandchild to be has yet to make an appearance, not that she is due until Saturday, but I am always early for all my appointments and so should she (obviously she takes after her mother, Daughter1 who is always late, though she was early for her own birth!)
It was Ash Wednesday today and class teachers had to put the ashes on the foreheads of all the students. As a form teacher, despite being somewhat a lapsed Catholic I did the job and ashed all my class and a few other students who couldn’t get through the seated crowd to get to their class teacher. I was quite into the swing of it by the end, and it soon became obvious that I am called to a higher post, and so, yes, as you no doubt expected, I am going to offer myself as the next Pope.
Pope Flamingo Dancer, has quite the ring to it don’t you think ( the papal ring, hahahaha) ? I am a Goddess, so yes, Pope is a bit of a step down, but one must do ones bit for the common people. I will allow women to be priests, I will allow all male priests to marry, and I will allow all women, especially those in poor countries to use contraception. I shall encourage contraception. And then on the second day…
Don’t you just love the way The Pope formerly known as Benedict turfed a group of cloistered nuns out of their convent to take over their pad? Last papal decree indeed.
And just because I am feeling eclectic tonight… Yesterday I passed some old men sitting on benches outside the Village post office. When I was a small child there used to be an outdoor set of draughts for locals to play, but they have long sense disappeared, no doubt stolen along with our respect, gratitude and enjoyment for such things; but that is a rant for another day.
So I was driving to work and the old men were sitting gossiping on the bench under the trees. I was filled with warm and fuzzy memories and felt like I was living a Norman Rockwell moment.
This morning I drove by and only one old man was sitting on the bench. He was chatting on his mobile phone. Even Norman Rockwell has moved with the times.
Queensland is in flood again, and while we are high and safe we are about to be cut off, if we aren’t already. Mr FD and I made a fast and very efficient trip to the local supermarket to stock up on milk, bread, eggs and extra dog food so we should be able to weather the next couple of days if nothing unexpected happens. Hopefully the power will stay connected as we haven’t purchased a generator as yet, but we did okay with the bbq in 2011 and a small battery generator to charge phones so fingers crossed. The reports are that once the rain clears in a day or so, it should all clear fairly quickly.
We are learning the joys of entertaining a large energetic puppy in wet weather. Augie Dog has been fairly well disciplined still asking to go outside to toilet, though he has been given the option of a puppy pad on the patio. We just have to whisk him inside quickly once his business is done, as he has discovered the joys of the muddy bare areas in the lawn. Luckily we have made a game out of rubbing him down with a towel and so he cooperates most of the time.
Reports of tornadoes in some area on the mid north coast of Queensland, and the warning is out for most of south east Queensland for more of the same. The wind has been building over the weekend and has been blowing a gale for awhile.
AS I WRITE THIS I HAVE JUST CAUGHT SIGHT OF AUGIE THROUGH THE WINDOW. HE IS COVERED IN MUD FROM HEAD TO TOE AND IS SITTING LOOKING AT ME QUITE JOYOUSLY . IT WAS MR FD’S WATCH.
IF WE RUN OUT OF FOOD, WE ARE FEEDING MR FD TO AUGIE.
I shall return later, I have a man to beat with a stick.
