My Mum phoned me. Well, one of the carers dialled our number and handed Mum the phone. I happened to be home, as I was ill, so I was able to talk with her. Last week she phoned when Mr FD was the only one home and he tried to make small talk with her but he thinks she was confused about who he was, as she asked if she had been at his wedding!
I rambled on about daily life, and a couple times we repeated the sequence as she forgot what she had just said, but it was a pleasant chat. Then she said that she had nothing to do and no one will allow her out and if she can’t get out soon… well, she was going to jump over the fence.
Her words instantly brought back the memories of Dad when he was being swallowed by his dementia. If we took him somewhere he didn’t want to be he would declare that “if I had a bike, I would jump on it and ride it away”.
I do understand their desire to be free, to live the life they once had, but they aren’t safe to do so. Mum can’t find her way from her room to the dining room, which is no more than 30 steps away. They have signs for the return journey that say “Marjorie’s room” and arrows and she still can’t find her way back.
Mum has always been a woman who would rather spend her time in her garden than in her house. No doubt she misses her garden and her pottering. She was very good at pottering, especially in the last few years when her garden really was too much for her, but we all pretended she was doing okay. They do take her for walks in the garden as I have seen the little bunches of cuttings that she collects on her walks. Mum was always one to ask for a cutting off a plant that caught her eye. Now they wither on the tray in her room. Now it is winter and too cold for her to go out.
In the spring, we shall take her for a drive in the country and let her see the countryside come back to life. We will buy her flowers and sit in the sun, and enjoy the moments.