DISCLAIMER: Flamingo Dancer may have been in the process of swishing down a large goblet of red wine in the process of writing this blog. If you agree with stated opinions, FD claims full copyright and ownership, if you do not agree with the opinions thus expressed, well, she disclaims her said opinions and heartily disavows them. If you can’t decide if you do or don’t agree, for heavens sake get a life and stop fence sitting.
We survived not only Christmas Day (my family), but also Boxing Day (Mr FD’s family). . We survived MIL as well, without her throwing up in the car on her way here, and back to her care facility (The HOME, the site of her “incarceration” as she declares at every available opportunity, spreading guilt as Santa does joy ), or any failure on her part to totter to the bathroom on time. Apparently, according to the Scripture of SIL, we attained some kind of record, keeping MIL together for some 6 hours.
In recent years, the Grandmas have come to have a dominant aspect of Christmas. My Mum is somewhat vague and a little deaf, though she denies both. She participated in a somewhat memorable conversation with Daughter 2 on Christmas Day on whether to “scratch the scratchies {lottery tickets] on your scratchie tree [ a small Christmas tree with lottery tickets attached] that has already gone down in Christmas history.
“Grandma, do you want to scratch the scratchie tree, now?”
“Yes, I scratched the scratchies.”
“No Grandma, those were the scratchies I gave you, I mean the scratchie tree that Dee gave you”
“Yes, I scratched the scratchies.”
“No Grandma, those were the scratchies I gave you. Remember how Dee gave you a scratchie tree too (pointing at the said tree) do you want to scratch the scratchies?”
“Yes, I scratched the scratchies”
“Grandma,” through clenched teeth, “would you like to scratch some more scratchies?”
“Do I have more?”
“Yes, Grandma, the ones that Dee gave you. Do you want me to get them for you?”
“Oh, should I? “
“Only if you want to.”
“I don’t know. Do you think I should?”
Look on Daughter2’s face communicates that about now she is considering cutting her wrists and ending it all with the carving knife on the ham platter, replies “Yes, I think you should Grandma, it’s not like you have anything else to do right now!”
“Well, then maybe I will.”
“I’ll get it for you then.”
Daughter 2 brings the tree over to Grandma.
“Oh, are these for me?”
“Yes, Grandma, Dee bought them for you.”
Cue in Son laughing in the background.
This afternoon, Daughter2 and I went to the movies to watch The Women on the Sixth Floor. I loved it, but D2 felt it was slow. I suspect I was the demographic audience and she wasn’t, as it is about a midlife crisis and living life and love. Walking down the stairs afterwards, an old man with a cane was walking in front of me, using the stair rail as support, when a group of young teenies barged up and forced him to relinquish his grip on the rail. The old man soldiered on, but I could see he was very unsteady and just as I said, “Are you ok?” he tottered backwards towards me. I put my hands out to catch him, but he swerved towards the rail and saved himself. Then, someone who may have been a son or a grandson came back up the stairs and said “I’m in front in case he falls.”
Old Man was as unimpressesed as I was, and muttered, “Fat lot of good that does me!” and so I turned and said “Maybe you should hit him with your stick!” to which Sonny Boy replied, “Don’t worry, he already does!”
Obviously, not often enough.
Is this the Christmas present for all of us – carry a bigger stick, I say.
There are many uses for a stick, and I can’t understand why it hasn’t caught on!
hahaha. Tellin’ it like it is! I like that! Andf concur with trailblazer’s notion of bigger sticks.
Perhaps I should bring out a FD range of sticks for all occasions!
Congrats with MIL. Mine went down to Christmas dinner at her “home” wearing 1-inch high heels. She hasn’t worn heels in years, God knows why she put them on this time. They hurt her feet so badly, she barely made it back. We repeatedly offered to run upstairs and fetch her some slippers, but no. Finally she slipped them off in the elevator!
Good thing you spotted that elderly gentleman on the stairs. Some people are so thoughtless.
Why do they do that? I guess there are still glimmers of former selves in there, but they end up causing more trouble and concern than if they just agreed first up. Of course, I shall not go meekly into my goodnight. I shall be rather discerning and demanding!
At least Grandparent and grandkid didn’t unite against the common enemy – that would be you FD. My parents are long gone, so I don’t have quite the same difficulties, but we did visit The Mole’s ageing parents day before Christmas. This went fairly peacefully and no blood spilt. Christmas was with my sister and family – lunch. We were so restrained, that The Mole was legally able to drive so we came home – passing up an opportunity to stay overnight. The only thing can say about this break is that some long term maintenance jobs are getting done (slowly), and I’m making use of a newly acquired Kindle. This was purchased ostensibly to reduce the weight on groaning bookshelves. We’ll see.
Mr FD was also able to legally drive home. Remember the days when one probably shouldn’t have driven for the next week? As you know MIL you know what we faced… age has not wearied that tongue. Today is rest day, the most excitement we face today is feeding the worms!
Well, I’ve enjoyed year two of “quiet Christmas.” Just me and the hubby. On December 24 we took ourselves out to dinner and, afterwards, opened the presents (Polish thing – Christmas Eve is the big yada yada). Then on Christmas Day I had my husband’s family over, exchanged more presents and chowed down yet again. Altogether a wonderful experience. Sounds like your day/s were not quite as quiet but memorable nonetheless!
I *love* the scratchie conversation – that happens in our household now as the manservant is going deaf; sometimes it can be really funny but a lot of times it’s really frustrating.